Passing On His True Love’s Wedding Dress
Deciding what to do with the wedding gown of the love of your life after 58 years of marriage isn’t easy.
Two weeks ago, a gentleman stopped by the shop with a photo in his hand and posed a question. This encounter drew me to learn more about him and the love of his life, and this is where this month’s blog begins.
“Lee came to the door holding his wedding photo and asked if I could use his wife’s wedding gown, who had passed away in 2022. I sensed this was very emotional for him and invited him into the shop.”
Patricia Ellen Mara married Lee Cahill on August 10th, 1963
“I have slowly been downsizing many things I own that I won’t really need in the future. I was stumped when it came to Patricia’s wedding dress. What to do? What to do? I believe the Lord works in mysterious ways. While reading an article in a local magazine, I learned about Headpiece.com. I wondered if they could possibly use the material from Patricia’s dress to make bridal headpieces. This way, Patricia’s dress could be put to good use.”
We chatted a bit. I told Lee that I have been offered many wedding gowns over the years, often with people looking to sell them. I really would have no use for used wedding gowns, but this encounter was different. Patricia’s gown style was “classic.” I felt with a little alteration to her gown, it could be worn today. I also loved the headpiece she wore and would love to have it, but in those days, headpieces often were shared between friends or passed down to other family members.
“Later on that day, Lee returned to the shop with his wedding album. A beautiful love story was being revealed, all with a simple knock at the door.”
“I stopped by the shop and met Marie Hunt, the owner. I explained my situation and showed her a picture from our wedding. I also explained that I had Patricia’s dress in a box in my car, but it had not been opened in a very long time. When Marie saw the headpiece Patricia was wearing in the photo, her interest “spiked,” and she asked if I knew if the headpiece was in the box. I brought the box into the shop but Marie suggested we not open it. After further discussion, lo and behold...here we are with a wonderful opportunity.”
I posted an Instagram story about Lee’s visit to the shop. The interest and outpouring of love for his story were astounding, touching many followers. I knew they wanted to know more about Lee and the wedding gown stored for so many years. I asked if I could write an article about him to post to my blog, and he agreed.
“I agreed to participate in the blog because Marie proposed a wonderful solution to my problem. I recognized that Marie truly believed it could benefit her followers and took on a very special meaning to her. It touched some special place, and I saw the passion in her eyes as she spoke about working on Patricia’s dress.”
Unboxing The Wedding Dress
Photography by Antonietta Henry Photography
Location Headpiece.com
Black and White Photography by Lorraine Studios
Lee’s initial visit to the shop was emotional. He was letting go and passing on a garment that had been a part of a significant day in his life: marrying Patricia Ellen.
“I suggested to Lee that he come back to the shop on a quieter day, and we open the box together. He was concerned about the condition of the gown and if I would be able to use it. ”
Patricia’s gown was never professionally preserved. The box had been stored inside a wooden chest for many years. When we opened it, we found that the gown and crinoline slip were wrapped and safety pinned in a cotton sheet. The sheet was discolored and not in good condition, but I had great hope that it protected the gown enough.
“I must admit I did not know what condition the dress would be in, but I was hopeful it had not been damaged too badly. As we opened the box and removed the wads of paper, there lay the dress, slightly yellowed but in good condition. As our anxiety level returned to normal, we gently removed the dress and placed it on a dress mannequin. Marie and I were both surprised at how wonderful it looked.”
Lee helped me put Patricia’s wedding gown on my mannequin. It fit perfectly, and I could button all the buttons on the back bodice. Lee shared some stories about his wedding day and life with Patricia. The wedding gown that had been packed away for so long came to life through recollections and cherished memories.
“Patricia was the younger sister to Tommy and Billy Mara. Tom and I were one of several guys and girls that “hung out” together. The guys enjoyed playing sports, drinking beer, and having fun. One evening, Pat showed up and joined the group. I had never met her before. She was 16 or 17 years old, a beautiful auburn red head, with a good sense of humor and a great shape. After some time, I asked her if she would go out with me. She said, “No.” I waited some time and asked her again. She said, “No.” I waited some time again, and the third time was the CHARM. She said, “YES.””
Lee and Pat dated for two years while he finished college and started working. Five months later, in November, he was drafted into the U.S. Army. By September, he received his commission as a second Lieutenant. He was stationed in Petersburg, Virginia, and took the bus home every week to see Patricia.
“It was at her apartment that I planned to get down on one knee (yes, I am a traditionalist) and “pop” the question. Of course, that was the evening her mother stayed up with us talking, and talking, and talking. Finally, her mother retired, and I became a very happy, engaged man.”
“Patricia’s family had a 17-year-old cat named Butch. Her father brought him home as a kitten one evening and put him in a dish of milk. Butch became Patricia’s cat and slept on her bed every night. The night before our wedding, her mother hung the wedding dress on the door and splayed the gown on the floor. The next morning, they found Butch sleeping in the center of the gown on the floor. Instant panic! Fortunately, they found a way to remove Butch without causing damage.”
I asked Lee if he recalled any emotions or memories of seeing Patricia walk down the aisle.
“Are you serious with this question? You saw how long the aisle in the church was. As Patricia walked down the aisle to me, I did all I could do to “keep it together.” I am tearing up right now. OK, I am back.
Strong emotions and feelings? Of course. I think this is that “moment” when you really know that this woman coming to you is the one true love you want to spend the rest of your life with and are willing to take a VOW of COMMITMENT for this one woman.”
“What do I love about Patricia??? Questions like this have been asked over the years and generally result in a list of adjectives that only sometimes capture the essence intended. My married life with Patricia was like so many colorful threads representing the many emotions, feelings, events, tragedies, etc., that are part of everyday living. They involve and are generated by family, friends, community, church, etc. How Patricia and I responded to all the “threads” resulted in a weak or strong thread. Our abilities to produce a weak or strong thread were influenced by our secular and spiritual strengths. My love of Patricia’s loving, giving, humor, strength, humility, and all the other adjectives that were her resulted in both of us producing strong threads for a fabric that protected our marriage for 58 wonderful years.”
Lee’s story was filled with emotion, love for his wife, and bits of wisdom. These days, we don’t often hear of marriages lasting 50 years or more. But when we do, we can find value in lived experiences and seek the secret to a long and happy marriage.
“Patricia and I both served as a Pre-Cana couple. The big question was often, “What is the secret to a happy marriage?” I think the answer is easy, BUT living it every day is difficult. The answer is mutual TRUST and RESPECT. Without understanding and commiting to these two values could be problematic. I am not ignoring LOVE, but that will develop in many different forms and qualities over time. It will develop quicker and stronger with a commitment to TRUST and RESPECT.”
“I would often use an illustration for each couple. Think of yourselves as standing close together on a very narrow, elevated plank, just wide enough to stand side by side. As you walk the plank (living day to day) and exercise mutual trust and respect, you won’t fall off because you are supporting each other. Your chances of falling off are greater when mutual trust and respect weaken. Exercising mutual trust and respect every day is difficult. It means making rejections and compromises in many ways for the other person you love. But it is worth it.”
“My experience at Headpiece.com was enlightening and educational. I knew the shop existed for many years but thought they just sold bridal headpieces. Not something on my shopping list. When I read the article describing Marie and the beautiful work she has done over the past 25 years, I became interested because I did have a need for such creative work. Could Patricia’s dress be used in the preparation of the headpieces they created? My experience with Marie in the shop couldn’t have been more pleasant. As busy as Marie was, she listened to my rambling story and what I was hoping for Patricia’s dress. As Marie began to see the possibilities, she showed me various pictures and described different techniques. I learned things I did not know before.”
“Too often, work pressures and deadlines prevent people from being open to other possibilities. Thankfully, that is not Marie Hunt.”
What is so interesting about this story is that I had previously scheduled an in-store photoshoot with Antonietta Henry in celebration of our 25th year in business, but who knew how life’s serendipity would circle for this very special photoshoot?
Photographer, Antonietta Henry
When I first saw the Headpiece.com Instagram story with a photo of Lee Cahill, I quickly messaged Marie that I knew him! When she told me the Pequannock magazine article about her shop motivated him to bring his beloved wife Pat’s wedding dress in, I was filled with emotion, but for several reasons. Lee’s late wife was one of my mother’s dear friends. Mom always described Pat as one of the funniest people she ever met. I distinctly remember them laughing so hard together over the years, the type of laughter that renders you silent. Mom always commented on what a beautiful relationship Pat and Lee had and how in love they were. I noticed it too, even at my young age back then. As you read this beautiful blog, you will also bear witness to the immense respect and love Lee had, and still has, for his lovely Pat.
“Being there to capture Lee with Marie as they revealed Pat’s wedding dress from storage was so touching. When Marie placed the gown on the dress form, and Lee greeted his bride through tears, it stopped me in my tracks. There is a saying that grief is the price we pay for love, but true love, like the love between Lee and Pat, never fades. I am certain Mom and Pat are smiling.”
So what is to become of Patricia’s wedding dress?
“When Lee first approached me, his idea was to cut apart Patricia’s dress and use it for headpiece design. Her boxed gown and a chance encounter with a man holding a wedding photo will now become a part of my life story. I could never cut this beautiful classic wedding gown. Patricia’s essence and dress will live on at Headpiece.com. I plan to slowly and delicately restore it to its 1963 elegance and display it in the shop. And, when brides meet with me nationwide, I will recall the beautiful love story of Patricia and Lee, the man who knocked on the door.”
See you next month on the Fourteenth